Morbid Obesity Sucks

Over the last year and a half, I moved from obese to morbidly obese. My initial BMI at the Medifast Center was over 40 putting me solidly in that category. I’m on the low end of morbid obesity and it sucks, I can only imagine how hard it is for people worse off than me.

I’ve spent most of my adult life overweight but I have a large frame and carried it well. The last couple of years have been different. I moved in the morbidly obese neighborhood and believe me, it a different kind of life.

First of all, it humiliating.  Everything is big. My ankles are huge and bloated. It’s embarrassing at a pool or the beach, but I still go because I love the water and I can still move “normally” when I’m swimming. My choices in clothing is limited.  Nothing fits and nothing looks good.

It’s hard to do simple things from putting on my socks and shoes, to getting in and out of tight spots, wiping myself (humiliating too) or walking up a flight of stairs. Going up a little incline leaves me sweaty and breathless.

Being morbidly obese has crushed my self esteem.  It’s always with me – I’m always aware of it and always thinking about how people view me. I spend more time avoiding people than socializing.  I even stopped taking care of myself.  I don’t care about clothes anymore, my grooming has suffered and my teeth have become yellow from all the diet coke I drink. It’s a depressing existence.

My energy levels are at all time lows.  I don’t have the energy to do my best work and since I feel exhausted all the time, I’ve let my place get terribly messy. Gross. And even more depressing.

My previous attempts at dieting have all failed and little attempts to exercise have been doomed to failure – getting this body in shape feels like trying to move a mountain with a soup spoon.  I go to bed every night wondering if tonight is the night I’m going to have a heart attack and I snore like a freight train.  Sometimes I wake up suddenly -  I think it’s sleep apnea. Maybe that’s why in the morning, I can still be tired.

Have I convinced you yet? Being morbidly obese sucks. It does.